O my memory, where is thy storage capacity? Oh! It was a Saturday morning and 7am was the time for the test (if I am right, lgs everything af overwritten everything). We were seemingly set for the test or so I thought until the drama started. Everyone was engulfed in fear of calculus, the last topic we treated.
I could remember the confusion in my mind, the uncertainty on my friends’ faces and above all, the fear of another catastrophic result after the LGS101 tsunami. Some were able to hide their fear. How is it gonna be? Is it gonna be about past questions? No, they can’t set what we weren’t taught – my ego stepped in to calm my overstretched nerves. How wrong was I to have heeded to the reassuring echo of my ego! The test started with the distribution of question papers. Some went ahead to open the question without permission.
They won’t repeat that if given another chance (so I thought). I was seated fidgeting out of the knowledge of uncertainty. I was lost in thought about my infant GP. O God! My GP is in your hands (thank God He listens). “if you are using anything other than a piece from an higher education notebook, you are….. Don’t worry, I don’t even need to tell you”, the voice of the lecturer jolted me off my reverie. “Oh, I am safe” my garrulous and outrightly pompous ego further reassured my heart. There, some students were scampering for a leaflet to “save their GP”. “Omo, GP no go cause wahala o”, complained my id.
“why would you come for a test without a leaf of the higher education notebook? this is not SSC101 test for God’s sake!” quipped my nosy ego. “why are you still standing? Yes, those of you at the back. You came late and still find it herculean to find seats abi?” that was one of the invigilators. I was worried about people’s orientation of test. “You are to be at the venue for any examination by at least 15minutes before the regular time,” says the school’s rules and regulations. Maybe they checked another body of rules or so I thought. For the very first time, the class was enveloped in silence and my heart seemed to be the only noisemaker I could noticed. All was set for the start. Although, some had already started afore the declaration of the commencement of the “real business”.
“You are free to open your question paper and start. You have 60 minutes to finish all. Start!”, announced the lecturer. Yes, the lecturer it was. The voice was unfriendly and somehow strict. “was that not the lecturer that was smiling at us during the last class? God! Exams too dey create enemies o”, I was still thinking off the “real business”.
I glanced at all students around me like I was expecting to see lecturers but their utter seriousness struck home the message of the raison de tre. Chai! Test Don start o. I said my prayers after the test had started for about 2minutes and opened my eyes to see “that question”. Yes, that question Mary was solving at the faculty basement which warranted my supposedly calm nerves to have quipped her off reading what we weren’t taught.
Thank God she didn’t listen to me. Chai! I will miss this question alone or so I thought. While checking all the questions as they came in poetic couplet, it looked as though I was writing MTH104 test. I saw about 5 questions which I had little or no clue about but lo, I was wrong. “Don’t worry Oriyomi, ori a yo e kuro ninu eyi (your head will save you from this)”, my pulverised ego cowardly whispered. 15 questions and before I knew it, I was on question 6 when I heard that Hitleric voice. “stand up, you, you and you. Submit and get out”, ordered the supervisor. What happened? I overheard (imagine overhearing during exam ehn. Amebo no go kee person) that some students were murmuring, hence the dismissal. Chai! See gobe. “Na 6 questions I Don answer o. How many those guys Don answer?” my id had a soft spot. After few minutes, a whistle was blown and virtually all the students in the hall raised their heads. I wasn’t an exemption (naso na). Before I could say wos wobi, the lecturer asked whom it was. The invigilator was forced to point to an innocent student who was as confused as everyone was. “Submit and get out”, ordered the lecturer. What really happened remains a mystery.
Fast-forward to 58 minutes. I was through but found out that I was certain to get some questions wrong. I wasn’t worried cause I admitted my complacency. I thought I was gonna blast it but I was blasted. Thank God for God.
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The ladies behind me were muttering only God knows what. “Mujeeb”, whispered a partner in labour “how far Na?” I shook my head as a gesture. I would be silly to fall a victim of the weird happenings around me. Not less than 8 students finished the test prematurely. It’s safe to say that the test finished them. “Get ready to stop!” the thick voice of the lecturer vibrated through the long desk. Dang! That was husky a voice. “you no go pray abi?” quizzed my id. “If I no pray ontop this matter ehn, my GP go swear for me”, my ego complemented the id. I submitted like others and that was the end or so I thought.
I forgot to mention that the venue was AUD1 AND 2. I waited outside to greet stern faces and hot moods. “Jeez! Where were you guys when I needed to cook beans without power supply”, my now relaxed ego whispered. Heaven knows that my lofty and fleshy cheeks (don’t mind my other body parts) would have been boiled if I said it out. “How was the test Na?” Emmanuel asked. The look on my other friend’s face was enough an answer as we just shrugged it off. “Omo, we thank God o. How your side Na?” I threw back the question. “we don do am na abi. Wait! Mae I go check if I finish am well”, Emma jokingly responded. I knew he had blasted it. I had seen him with past questions in his room at Angola few days before the test. All through the day, I knew I had done myself a great injustice. Wait! Was it myself or my famished GP? You know better.
The following Wednesday was for SSC106 again. The lecturer did the corrections and we all saw our “ons and offs”. “Thank God the ons outscored the offs”, screamed my ego. The following week, he called out some names and said those were “the guys”. Yes, they had 20 and above all over 30. I had came late to the class and five of my friends were called. Ebun (the highest), Bolu, Emmanuel (I knew it before sef), Ibrahim and Damilola Kuyoro. I had asked another friend what happened and got the little piece of information. Chai! My name was not mentioned. O tan loni (it has finished today). “so, you had less than 20, Oriyomi”, that was my curious ego. How wrong was I with the unpragmatic and seemingly deluded permutations!
We received the test scripts few weeks later and I saw something like 21. I was partially happy and partially sad. I had gone to the lecturer’s office with the then part 1 public administration class rep, Abimbola. We compared our scripts with some other students’. “Chai! Na ojoro be this o……. Why didn’t he give me half in about 4 places as he did in other’s?” I exclaimed. Same was the case with Bimbo.
The class reps were not spared. I was sad and felt misjudged with an heartfelt sense of disservice. It was later to be a general problem which some students went to complain about. The case wasn’t resolved as the lecturer cited different steps where he gave bonuses too. So, we were even or so I thought. “Mujeeb, what is this?” asked Bimbo. It looked as though I skipped arithmetic classes in my elementary school. “13 minus 5 kilode?” I read out aloud.
That was a student’s script. It was a leaf from an exercise book. That was when I remembered the caveat the lecturer mentioned in class. We later saw many minuses and the struggle continued. We wrote the examination with much happier mood and better invigilation. We all came out happy although, our various pages on “eportal” had different responses to our happiness.
At the end of the day, we can say, “We were there and we won”.
Thanks for your time.