The following are some of the features of students in English Department in a typical Nigerian University:
THEY SPEAK TOO MUCH BIG GRAMMAR :
Dada-tic trimelochy is not suitably verminous to an usuriousness acridity, when a scandalous siglaform paper turns into a mainly aquatic periphery in a sagacious millennium, then a kindergarten lollipi is trimandously demoralised. .
That’s a collection of obviously not-from-this-world English grammar escaping freely from the salivary mouth of an English student. He must have crammed that for nothing less than two weeks and if called upon and seated down to explain what it he meant might not be able to interpret the words of his mouth. That is typical of an English student. They derive joy and pride in collating unwarranted English grammar and juxtaposing them together to express themselves in a situation where moderate and understandable grammar would have been appreciated, all in the name of proving the obvious fact that they are in the department of English studies. People like that graduate to become something like Mr Patrick Obahiagbon, leading to more confusion in our English minds. To be brief, English students tend to intimidate us with too much grammar.
THEY FORM PHONETICS
Department of English is where you will see a typical Ibadan boy who has stayed in Molete all his life forming phonetics like he just got a return ticket from America after gaining admission. They tend to call “Phone” > “Fen” and “Car” > “Cor”, all in the name of sounding like an American. It is mostly common among their girls though, “dem too dey form English”.
THEY LIKE ARGUMENT
Perhaps this is due to the fact that they have less workload compared to science students or probably because argument is related to their calling as English students. Anywhere you see a group of people arguing, look around, you will most probably find an English student in their midst, speaking grammar. They usually win arguments easily because they easily intimidate and scare of opponents with grammar.
THEY ARE MOSTLY MORE THAN OTHER DEPARTMENTS
The number of students in the department of English studies in most Nigeria tertiary institutions tends to be more, when compared to number of students in other departments. Nigerian schools tend to admit them abundantly as they lower their admission cut-off. Reason for this, I don’t know. They probably believe we need more English students in the Nation which I don’t believe in.
THEY DRESS COPERATELY
A typical English student is most times on shirt tucked into a pant trouser with his shining shoe looking like it’s bigger than his leg. What else do we expect, it should be one of their codes of conduct.
THEY ARE MOSTLY GIRLS
When viewed in-depth, most of the students in the department of English are mostly feminine. This is more than something that can be referred to as a coincidence. English departments in Nigerian tertiary institutions is nothing close to gender equality in participation, we have more girls than boys.
THEY ARE SOCIABLE AND HAVE THE BEST OF PARTIES
This can be attributed to the fact that they have enough girls to spice up any show in form of parties that comes up in the department. Despite high entrance fee for their parties, you will still see student s from other departments longing to get a glimpse of the well-arranged stage even though the performing act might be an upcoming but struggling local vocalist.
THEY ARE ALSO KNOWN AS WOUNDED LAW STUDENTS
This is probably due to the fact that most of them didn’t opt for English in the first instance. They mostly pick Law as a course of study but due to various factors ranging from cutoff to related circumstances, they fail to get into the department of Law and probably out of the generousity of the school authority, they are offered an alternative – English.
THEY MOSTLY GRADUATE AND HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER
Now when they graduate after some 4 or more years chilling on campus, most of them really seem to have nothing to offer in the employment market. Most of what they claim they can do with their certificate can as well be done by any smart graduate from whatever department.
DISCLAIMER : This post is not in any way meant to bad-mouth the department, just some observations made by a human being which are meant to be probably wrong according to your own perspective.
That should be all on the FEATURES OF STUDENTS IN DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH IN NIGERIAN UNIVERSITY. Watch out for posts on other departments. For addition or queries, use the comment box below.