JUST GOT ADMITTED? THE INITIAL FEELINGS AND THE SURPRISING FIRST IMPRESSION
It’s somewhat hard to describe exactly how it feels when one just gets admitted. As eloquently put in my article on “The joy and concern of final year brethren”,
‘no words, however finely crafted can describe the feeling that courses through one’s veins and no article however detailed can relay the experience; the incredible joy, the terrific rush of adrenaline and the insane relief that overwhelms a freshly admitted student’.
My own experience was quite interesting. When I learned my name was out, I simply sat, nay collapsed into the nearest chair, cried and smiled at the same time as my emotion kicked itself into confused gears. I remember vividly how everything else had ceased to matter and how it seemed the world had suddenly grounded to an abrupt halt. I was simply overwhelmed by a strange emotion that was no doubt aggravated when the realization that I had gotten the course I’ve always wanted in the institution I had always desired hit me.
In the moments and days that followed, everything became serious; there was hardly any time to sit around and contemplate my feelings, there were always things to buy, more foodstuffs to be packed and as the resumption date drew ever nearer, a new mix of emotions started to surface; worry, anxiety, apprehension and joy.
It was, for lack of a better word, twisted. A part of me was happy that I was finally going to be my own man, determine for myself how I spend my day, what to eat and wear when to sleep and wake and yet, a part of me was homesick even before I left home. I became mildly depressed, my imagination started to run wild, I had low energy, had trouble sleeping and I was submerged in a general sense of anticlimax; which was funny because I had worked so hard and for so long for those moments.
What scared me most was the very thing that excited me the most; “the unknown”. I suddenly realized the endless possibilities, soon became aware asers my past slowly began to slip into oblivion and of how my future became increasingly dependent on my acts or omissions from thereon, I began to understand that just about anything could happen and that those events, whether good or bad could have long-lasting consequences and affect my life in ways even I couldn’t imagine.
Generally, though, the excitement outweighed all other emotions. I couldn’t wait to be on my own, to meet new people, to join academic and social clubs and organizations, to learn new skills and to explore, discover and gain a new perspective of the world around me.
I suppose the surprising first impression springs forth from the electric, the utterly incredible vibe on campus. The atmosphere was different. The environment was calm and chaotic, charged and relaxed, strange and familiar all at the same time. Everyone seemed to be going somewhere. There was always so much to do, so much to see; it was completely overwhelming.
Although I was scared at first, campus soon became familiar, homework became doable, even enjoyable, my time management skills got better and instead of trying to fit in, I decided to stand out and let the universe draw fit and appropriate company to me. Also, instead of trying to get myself motivated by listening to inspirational music and reading articles on study tips(which wasn’t working by the way), I simply delved right into working hard.